The Rug underneath us..

My last week of travel in India I went to an agency XYZ in Chennai where I had been told that composite age of me and John are 90+ and that we would not qualify for a child under 3. This was news to me. She showed me from CARA guidelines (Central Adoption Agency in India) book. I had asked her if there had been any changes since my Agency in Toronto hadn't told us anything about it. In fact we have been thinking that we might get a younger child and I have been campaigning for child up to 4 and we just raised the age and got the approval a month ago. I just got my OCI (my permanent passport from India) now we will qualify for a healthier child since I will be considered Indian Citizen. * They offer unhealthy children (child rejected by Indian couple from India) for International adoption.


The director of XYZ informed me of a healthy young girl nearly 5 (she just had her birthday 5 days ago) and that we could have her if we wished. Right away I called John and we started looking into this process. As soon I got back to Canada we wanted to make all the arrangements for this 5 year old girl since we will need additional approval for her since we just got the approval for a 4 year old.

First we had to get our social worker's approval for a older child then she will write a recommendation to the province of Ontario and then get the approval from the Govt. Our doctors and social workers had given us the green light for this girl.

One of the plus point about this girl is that she is from Nagercoil, Tamil Nadu - She is from the same state as me! I speak fluent Tamil, so to communicate with this girl would be so much easier. Two, I would stay in India for two months towards the end with her until the papers are finalized from Delhi for her Visa and the bonding issue would be much smoother. She would also reside with me and my relatives who speak the same language the surroundings will be so similar for her, the transition would be so much better. Lastly, as I indicated most of the children from India showed stabilization and maturity. I didn't see any children crying or being isolated like the stories we hear about from eastern Europe.

Last weekend we were ready to get this proposal from India and to proceed with this little girl but unfortunately the following day we heard she was given to someone locally. Above all the places, my hometown Nagapattinam. Yes a couple from Nagai has stolen our would be child. Ok let me not get emotional but for three weeks we got used to the idea about getting this little girl from Tamil Nadu. Now the rug has been pulled underneath us..

With not knowing the composite age being a huge factor for India.. now our window is shrinking since we are just too old to adopt a child from India.

In Western culture they would like the child to be younger the better but in India they work with the parents age and ratio of the child's age.

At this point we are not sure where we stand as most of the agencies in India have no healthy children available for International adoption. This is why we were given proposals in the past for unhealthy children. We could only apply to one International country at a time.. at this time it's India. For us to change a country would also result in more time delay. Maybe Angelina Jolie or Madonna could tell us how they got their child so fast and could put in a good word for us...

NGOs and Orphanages in Nagapattinam (Part 2)

Later in the week, I stopped by Seva Bharati, it's is an Indian (Hindu) NGO. It runs thousands of service projects across India in the field of education, health-care, rural development and rehabilitation and special needs of children.


I went to a tiny cramped house that housed 32 young girls from the ages of 6 to 16. Two out of 32 girls are complete orphans losing their parents to the tsunami and the rest of the girls have some family members in Nagai District but not being able to support the girls. The girls grow under the care of two caregivers who works with the girls around the clock getting them ready for school and prepares their meal.

These girls were unlike any of the children I had met. These girls had such determination and unshakable strength to make it big when they finish school. Most of the girls were in top 10 percentile and each telling me that they wanted to be somebody. It really touched me as I know how hard it is to get a "seat" acceptance in Indian universities as the system is very similar to American universities. Many Indian universities ask for bribes just to take a student so it will be very hard for these girls to go to universities and become a professional. End of the evening the girls sang songs as two girls had angelic voices as they all excelled not only in academics but also in sports and arts. These children are not eligible for adoption, you can provide financial support (donation) directly to Seva Bharathi, check out the link for details and pictures..


http://www.sevabharathitn.org/WebPortal/default.asp?pid=34

My last stop visiting a couple by the beach side of Nagai who had lost all their children (2 girls and 1 boy) to the fateful day of the tsunami when they went to play in the beach with their father and the waves came and they got separated. Parameswaran (father) was able to survive clinging to a tree but all three children were lost in the sea and eventually found dead around the beach.

Parameswaran and his wife Choodamani are now running a orphanage to take care of children who were in direct result of tsunami. When Nagai orphanage was overflowing with children right after the tsunami the couple decide to adopt children themselves and started to raise them as their own. They believe with their unshakable faith to the church they were blessed with having two children of their own and now they have 24 children in total (including their 2 kids) and they take care of all the children.

They've built a huge building behind their own home and housing the 22 children where they are treated as their own. During the day the children attend school and come back to the house in the evening and play and do their homework. There are 4 caregivers around clock to take care of the children and the house. They have started a registered NGO/Foundation called Nambikkai (Hands of Hope) that brings financial support for the children. When President Clinton paid a visit to Nagai after the tsunami and he met the couple and was amazed at their strength, courage and unshakable human spirit and said he will never forget them for they are doing and wished people around world could learn from this wonderful story.
 

When the met Parameswaran and Choodamani they invited me into their home with open arms and were in amazing spirits and were able to give me hope, strength and positive feelings when I found myself lost with bureaucracy and hopelessness of Indian agencies with no children. These children are not eligible for adoption, you can provide financial support (donation) directly to Nambikkai, check out the link for details and pictures.

http://www.nambikkai.org.in/

NGOs and Orphanages in Nagapattinam (Part 1)

While I was in India I had a chance to visit various kinds of Orphanages/NGO operating right out of Nagai that is in direct result of the tsunami of 2005.


One day I went to a orphanage run by the Nagai District called Annai Satya Tsunami Rehabilitation Project where I had been to before when the tsunami hit five years ago and there were 102 children orphaned. During the last five years the numbers have gone up and down and now down to 72 children from the ages of 7 to 16. Most of them are girls as boys are taken to other orphanage after they reach 9 years old. Some of the girls had recognized me from five years back. Most of the girls are somewhat adjusted after loss of their parents and attending school right now. Few of them have extended family member living nearby and visit them on special holidays.

The facility I had seen five years ago was small and cramped and through the money I had raised we bought the children books and storage closets but never enough for anything substantial. Now they are living in a large building complex complete with all the necessary things and sharing rooms with girls of their own age. All children attend schools nearby and take their lunch to school and return in the evening and play, do their homework and watch TV. I am glad to see Indian Govt and Int'l agencies have made sure these kids don't get left behind and given priority for their wellbeing.

But the children could really benefit from having mentors as they have no one really to look up to or have time to spend with as they are on their own. There are caregivers in the orphanage but they are much older Gov't employees. Even though there are big girls in the group they themselves lack contact with someone in their age or a bit older to talk to. Nagai Gov't is committed to helping these children reach their full potential but these children lack direction and mentorship which is crucial to their survival wherever they end up. These children are not eligible for adoption, you can provide financial support (donation) directly to the Nagai Gov't to care of these children.

My second stop I visited the SOS Children's village. SOS Children's Villages is an independent, international NGO, which has been working to meet the needs and protect the interests and rights of children. It's one of the world's largest charity for orphaned and abandoned children and have been nominated 14 times for the Nobel Peace Prize.

The first SOS Children’s Village was founded by Austrian born Hermann Gmeiner in 1949 in Imst, Austria. He was committed to helping children in need – children who had lost their homes, their security and their families as a result of the Second World War. With the support of many donors and co-workers, the organization has grown to help children all over the world - in many cities in India and now in Nagai.

There were 10 houses at this particular village and each housing 10 kids and a "mother" (24/7 caregiver) being their primary caregiver. The children grow in these homes with brothers and sisters of many ages and a "mother" taking care of them. All of these children are orphans as a result of Tsunami even though SOS provides home for orphans or abandoned children in many developing countries.

I was very impressed with these caregivers and the condition of the children. Most of the houses were decorated by the children from each house. During the day the children attend school and in the evenings children get back to the village and play with other kids and do their homework. At night they retire to their own home where they eat, play with their sisters, brothers and mother. At this particular SOS village in Nagai - Christian, Hindu, Muslim children live together in peace as it has been in Nagai all these years. The children from these villages looked happy and were well adjusted, thanks to Euros and Dollars pouring to this Int'l NGO. These children are not eligible for adoption, if you want to help these children you can sponsor a child and as each child has an international sponsor. Check out the link for more details and pictures..

http://www.soscvindia.org/charity/nagapattinam.php