The Rug underneath us..

My last week of travel in India I went to an agency XYZ in Chennai where I had been told that composite age of me and John are 90+ and that we would not qualify for a child under 3. This was news to me. She showed me from CARA guidelines (Central Adoption Agency in India) book. I had asked her if there had been any changes since my Agency in Toronto hadn't told us anything about it. In fact we have been thinking that we might get a younger child and I have been campaigning for child up to 4 and we just raised the age and got the approval a month ago. I just got my OCI (my permanent passport from India) now we will qualify for a healthier child since I will be considered Indian Citizen. * They offer unhealthy children (child rejected by Indian couple from India) for International adoption.


The director of XYZ informed me of a healthy young girl nearly 5 (she just had her birthday 5 days ago) and that we could have her if we wished. Right away I called John and we started looking into this process. As soon I got back to Canada we wanted to make all the arrangements for this 5 year old girl since we will need additional approval for her since we just got the approval for a 4 year old.

First we had to get our social worker's approval for a older child then she will write a recommendation to the province of Ontario and then get the approval from the Govt. Our doctors and social workers had given us the green light for this girl.

One of the plus point about this girl is that she is from Nagercoil, Tamil Nadu - She is from the same state as me! I speak fluent Tamil, so to communicate with this girl would be so much easier. Two, I would stay in India for two months towards the end with her until the papers are finalized from Delhi for her Visa and the bonding issue would be much smoother. She would also reside with me and my relatives who speak the same language the surroundings will be so similar for her, the transition would be so much better. Lastly, as I indicated most of the children from India showed stabilization and maturity. I didn't see any children crying or being isolated like the stories we hear about from eastern Europe.

Last weekend we were ready to get this proposal from India and to proceed with this little girl but unfortunately the following day we heard she was given to someone locally. Above all the places, my hometown Nagapattinam. Yes a couple from Nagai has stolen our would be child. Ok let me not get emotional but for three weeks we got used to the idea about getting this little girl from Tamil Nadu. Now the rug has been pulled underneath us..

With not knowing the composite age being a huge factor for India.. now our window is shrinking since we are just too old to adopt a child from India.

In Western culture they would like the child to be younger the better but in India they work with the parents age and ratio of the child's age.

At this point we are not sure where we stand as most of the agencies in India have no healthy children available for International adoption. This is why we were given proposals in the past for unhealthy children. We could only apply to one International country at a time.. at this time it's India. For us to change a country would also result in more time delay. Maybe Angelina Jolie or Madonna could tell us how they got their child so fast and could put in a good word for us...